DISCLAIMER! Today’s post will be a very frank discussion on the grossness of sin. I am being intentionally direct because Satan’s attempts to influence us towards sin are also intentionally direct. I hope everyone is comfortable talking about poop because today’s post has lots of it. You might even say it’s full of poop. It’s disgusting but I think it makes the point we will be discussing later. I apologize in advance if that makes you uncomfortable… END DISCLAIMER!
Does anyone else out there reading this blog struggling with the dichotomy Paul presents in Romans 7 or is it just me? As a recovering perfectionist, Rom. 7:14-25 might be the most difficult passage of Scripture for me to wrestle with. I’m going to include it here so you can follow along with me:
14 For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am of the flesh, sold under sin. 15 For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. 16 Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. 17 So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. 18 For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.
21 So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. 22 For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, 23 but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. 24 Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? 25 Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.
I don’t think this is Paul writing hypothetically as some believe because how do you reconcile an apostle confessing very clearly that he struggles with his sinfulness. It also doesn’t seem like Paul is using the “Devil made me do it” argument even though he does seem to give sin a personality in this passage. I really think Paul is confessing his heart here…he knows what’s right and wants to do what’s right but he is dealing with the same reality that we all do if we’re honest, he is still sinful…we are still sinful…I am still sinful.
I have thought the very same words Paul writes as a result of my sin, “Wretched man that I am”. This is where perfectionists go to die spiritually: we know we are better than this, we know the right thing to do, we know Christ has made us new, we know that we have been redeemed out of sin and death yet here we are playing in the poop as they say… As a perfectionist I would say, “Stop playing in the poop…you know better than that.” And I would agree with myself and say how disgusting that was and say “Never again will I play in that poop…” only to find myself playing in the poop again, and chastising myself again, and promising to do better again, and playing in the poop again… Wretched, wretched man that I am STOP PLAYING IN THE POOP!
Then out of nowhere Paul exclaims, Thank be to God through Christ Jesus our Lord!” What in the world? Thank you for leaving me in this confused dual-nature wretchedness? But what Paul is saying is, “Robin, while you are redeemed you are still broken and you will always find poop to play with.” This doesn’t make it OK to play with poop or mean we shouldn’t commit to sinning less but it should re-orient our focus from the poop to the One who wants to clean it all up for us.
I confess this is not easy, at least not for this particular perfectionist, but it’s OK because we go on to read in Rom. 8:1 that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Whew, what a relief. I’m still broken and I want to fix myself but even if I can’t, at least there is no condemnation for it. However, if this is where it stops, it still doesn’t feel hopeful; I am still a wretched man wrestling with the reality that the imago dei in me is not OK with being a wretched man.
It is in Rom. 8:5-8 I finally got the kick to the head that I needed to break my fixation on “doing better”. Specifically in verse 6 Paul writes, “For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.” If I spend my time focused on failures within the poop cycle I will die; this is true spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and possibly even physically. Focusing on my failures only reinforces that I am a failure. Setting my mind on the Spirit of God is life and peace; all of the promises of God’s nature are true within His Spirit who is dwelling in me as a believer.
Finally, verse 8 was the hammer-blow to my attempts at perfectionism… “Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.” If I am focused on how much or how little I am playing in the poop I am not focused on God. Furthermore, it doesn’t matter how much or how little I am playing in the poop I cannot please God while being distracted by it.
One of the foundational linchpins of Reformed theology is the Total Depravity of man; basically without God, human beings are poop mongers and will never stop being poop mongers. One of the outcomes of the emphasis on Total Depravity is there is now a large percentage of Christians focused on their poopyness rather than the redemptive Spirit of God living inside of them. Let me encourage you that if you feel trapped or like a failure, put your mind on the Spirit. Focus on Him: read Scripture, listen to/sing worship music, go walk in His magnificent creation, go somewhere and pray. Let us confess our failures, ask forgiveness and offer Him praise. Don’t focus on the fact you are not perfect and the reality you will fail again. Rather focus on His perfection and the reality that He will never fail you. Blessings to all of you!
